
{"id":24758,"date":"2012-03-29T10:30:33","date_gmt":"2012-03-29T14:30:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/?p=24758"},"modified":"2012-03-29T22:23:08","modified_gmt":"2012-03-30T02:23:08","slug":"chatham-confronts-foster-care-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/2012\/03\/29\/chatham-confronts-foster-care-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"Chatham confronts foster care needs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>By Taylor Sisk<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Staff Writer<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Shawna Williamson, now 19, still gets that antsy feeling about change.<\/p>\n<p>Williamson grew up in southern and eastern Chatham County: Bonlee, Bear Creek, Siler City, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a little bit of everywhere down there.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>She was placed into foster care on three occasions, the first time when she was 7 or 8; she can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t recall for certain. After about six months, she returned home, but a couple of years later was again removed, first to live with a great aunt and uncle and then in a foster home in which she felt very comfortable.<\/p>\n<p>But after about a year, her foster dad was offered a faculty position at Appalachian State University. The family asked her to come with them, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I chose to stay in Chatham County,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says today. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153My older brother was still in Chatham County and I wanted to be close to him. \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 He was the only one there by my side through everything, that I could talk to every day and see every day, and he supported me, and I did the same for him.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, another foster family was found within the county, and Williamson remained in her community, her high school, among her friends.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It helped me not panic about having to leave everything behind,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says.<\/p>\n<p>Chatham County is experiencing a shortage of foster care homes. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing new \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the numbers rise and fall, and are seldom if ever sufficient \u00e2\u20ac\u201c but the county is now taking strategic action to prevent kids from having to be sent out of the county to foster care or group homes. <\/p>\n<p>On Feb. 21, the Department of Social Services launched its 2012 Campaign for Chatham\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Children to help community members learn more about what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s involved in being a foster family and to support those who provide homes and the children in their care. <\/p>\n<p>The campaign will create \u00e2\u20ac\u0153circles of support\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with local businesses, churches, organizations and individuals, and volunteers have formed FACES of Chatham, a nonprofit to provide clothing and other items and support for afterschool programs, summer camp, community garden-building and fieldtrips.<\/p>\n<p>DSS also will be conducting a survey, asking for the community\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s views on foster care in Chatham in hopes of better targeting its recruitment activities.<\/p>\n<p>Bottom line, the county is attempting to keep kids closer to home.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The reward<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Shirille Lee has been a foster parent to 38 kids over the past 15 years. She says that anyone interested in taking in foster children must look within and ask a few essential questions.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_24759\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-24759\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/2012\/03\/29\/chatham-confronts-foster-care-needs\/fostercare-shirille-lee_web\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-24759\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" class=\"size-full wp-image-24759\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web-113x84.jpg 113w, https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web-150x113.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/FosterCare-Shirille-Lee_web-100x75.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-24759\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Shirille Lee<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>First: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can I love unconditionally?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Children coming into care are in care for a reason,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lee says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Some have been exposed to things we can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t imagine or believe.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d They come with baggage. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can I look past a child\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s behavior and see the needs? <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Children go with what they know. If negative behaviors have gotten them what they want in the past, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what they do.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>Many children brought into foster care have been abused. To cope, they often have an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll hurt you before you can hurt me\u00e2\u20ac\u009d mentality, Lee says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153so they lash out. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Children can say some hurtful things that can cut deep and affect your interactions. Can you still open your heart to this child? Can you step back and take a minute before you respond to a comment that has your mind racing?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>Taking in a child of whom you know very little, exposing yourself and your family to the unknown \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s quite a challenge. <\/p>\n<p>But for Lee, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also the reward: stepping up and accepting the challenge and offering \u00e2\u20ac\u0153your world, that is by no means perfect, but a world where a child can count on his or her needs being met, a place he or she can feel loved and safe.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You have to be realistic,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d says Jessica Lemons, 33, of Siler City, who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s presently foster mom to siblings, aged 1 and 2. You have to accept that you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know how things will play out, she says, and prepare for what may come.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153In the beginning I thought I was doing it all for the kids, and so did my family,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lemons says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve taught us that love doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a color or have bloodlines.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n<p>Lee\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s first foster child ran away after a couple of months, and her second had to be moved to another placement.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It made me question if I was right for this job,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I truly believed I had something to give to these kids. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fifteen years later, my first child still tells me my house was her first home and she still loves me,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lee says. Her second child recently returned to North Carolina for a funeral and stopped by to say thank you and that he was doing OK. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thirty-eight kids later, I may still have questions,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lee says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153but in my heart I know I was created for this.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153For me, it just feels natural,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lemons says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is my calling, and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t plan on stopping.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcEyes wide open\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>DSS Placement Services supervisor Jamie Bazemore says potential foster parents should ask themselves why they want to take on this challenge, and to fully understand their own motivations. <\/p>\n<p>They then should ask if it will work for their entire family and immediate support network.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Everybody has to come in with their eyes wide open,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bazemore says.<\/p>\n<p>To help prepare potential parents, the county provides 10-week Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting (MAPP) classes. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I say to people, take the MAPP classes before you make any decision,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Lemons says.<\/p>\n<p>Taking the classes doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t signal a commitment, Bazemore adds. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You can take all 10 MAPP classes and then say, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcThis is great information, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m thrilled we did this, but we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve decided this isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t the right time in our lives.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fine.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very much a process to make the final decision,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re with you 100 percent of the way.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also a network among foster parents in Chatham, with training sessions and nights out that offer both formal and informal support.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Alleviating the anxiety<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Bureaucratic issues come into play when children must be placed in homes outside the county. <\/p>\n<p>But \u00e2\u20ac\u0153first and foremost, we want to keep children in their own communities for their own benefits,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bazemore says.<\/p>\n<p>Shawna Williamson can appreciate that.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s always that panic,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says of being taken from even a bad situation at home. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be separated from everything that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ever known.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>Leaving Chatham County would have been especially rough.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I grew up in little country areas, and we didn&#8217;t got out of county all that much unless we were going to see my grandmother. So there was a lot of anxiety at the thought of leaving everything and having no stability.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The thought of leaving everything I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d ever known was very difficult,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says.<\/p>\n<p>DSS wants to make foster care \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a constant, continual community conversation\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and to engage the community in its recruitment efforts.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You may not be currently able [to be a foster parent],\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bazemore says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153but you probably know someone who is.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>Williamson hopes to one day be a foster parent herself. <\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Of course, I would,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153once I get everything situated and get settled and get through college and know that I can handle that.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s now working at Walgreens, has her own place and pays her own bills. <\/p>\n<p>Her immediate objective, she says, is to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153be my own person.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s working through that now, and it helps to be grounded.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shawna Williamson, now 19, still gets that antsy feeling about change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":24759,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24758"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24758\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24789,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24758\/revisions\/24789"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}