
{"id":3741,"date":"2008-10-30T07:40:36","date_gmt":"2008-10-30T15:40:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/?p=3741"},"modified":"2008-10-30T07:40:36","modified_gmt":"2008-10-30T15:40:36","slug":"my-nephew-viet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/2008\/10\/30\/my-nephew-viet\/","title":{"rendered":"My nephew Viet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href='http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/viet-xmas-07.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.carrborocitizen.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/viet-xmas-07-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"Viet was killed in a car accident Oct. 10, 2008.\" title=\"viet-xmas-07\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\" align=\"left\" size-medium wp-image-3742\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/viet-xmas-07-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/viet-xmas-07.jpg 1440w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<strong>Early 1980s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My little nephew, sleeping next to me. In an unguarded sprawl, he marks longitude and latitude across most of the bed; this little 3 year old, snoring like a cow. His adenoids, removed soon after.<br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\n<strong>Mid-\u00e2\u20ac\u02dc80s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My nephew, an afternoon outing. Amazingly, his folks trust me with their young son. I strap him in, hoping\/guessing I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing it right. I drive through town, unaware of playgrounds and fresh air, suspecting the record store can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t entirely accommodate us. We go to the mall and poke around. I get ice water at McDonald\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, put Sweet\u00e2\u20ac\u2122n\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Lo in it. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Here, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sweet but won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make you crazy high on sugar. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a free Tab without the caramel coloring. Or bubbles.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Late \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc80s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My nephew, dropping hungry hints, noticing those birds and bees. I ask his parents\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 permission if I can tell him. They nod eagerly, I think relieved. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember exactly what I said, but spontaneous diagrams happened. I remember his Asian eyes round with awe, his body upright on the edge of his seat at the dining room table, in a completely quiet house except for my odd voice. I pause periodically, looking for recognition on his face to confirm he understands. Just more awe. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Early 1990s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I give him the rest of the story. Beyond the anatomical \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 the politics of sexuality. I tell him if anyone moves you out of your comfort zone and isolates you, if anyone backs you into a corner, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okay to defend. Then I tell him how. I tell him some will be well-intentioned and kind, some will not. I vaguely remember this. Years later he says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Auntie, remember when you told me there are rats? You were right. I met a rat.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember saying those words; I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m glad I provided a reference point for him to firmly reject an ill-intentioned taker, grateful he told me my risky investment (candid talk to a young soul) had value. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Mid-\u00e2\u20ac\u02dc90s <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so awkward. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s trying on faces and voices and gestures. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too agreeable. I wanna know what he thinks. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure he does. I wait. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Early 2000s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a hard worker. He forms opinions. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been listening at family gatherings. Our table talk is Classic Chapel Hill Liberal. We are unapologetically educated. He crosses his legs, leans an elbow on a knee, and props his chin in that hand. He interjects. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t notice; I have something to say and won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stop. He interjects. I realize he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s talking. I sit back and listen. He talks. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Mid-2000s<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He sends postcards from Paris, Moscow, and Hanoi. I tour his tiny one-room Upper West Side apartment by merely glancing side to side. He and his cat generously accommodate me. I love being in his space, more elegant and organized than my tiny one-room East Village apartment fifteen years earlier. He studies French literature at Columbia and works for Louis Vuitton, then Chanel. He gives me a cream silk scarf with a large black motorcycle across it, calling it tasteful and edgy like me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>October 10, 2008<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Viet is in the back seat of a jeep. He and two other young men are almost at the Big Sur retreat site where they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll spend the weekend with other MBA students from Stanford University. The car goes over a cliff and falls 700 feet. All three men die.<br \/>\nToday<br \/>\nI miss my ever-blooming nephew. I must release my anticipation of being your old Auntie, asserting challenges and humbly correcting myself under your love and care. I must accept that you will not age past your photographs. I looked forward to discovering you throughout your years, living our continuum. Apparently no. I love you and I thank you, Viet. I miss your heartbeat in this world.<\/p>\n<p>Viet Quoc Nguyen was born November 23, 1979. He was raised in Carrboro. His family includes his mother and father, Nga Cao and Kim Nguyen, his grandmother Ba Why, his grandparents Carl and Eve Shy, his aunts Leslie, Rosalie and Ann, uncles Temo, Mike, and Stuart, and cousins Delmar, Jordi, Brian, Lia, Caleb, and Cash. Viet\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Pennsylvania family includes his maternal Uncle Hwa and extended family. His California family includes Craig and the paternal Nguyen family. His Australian family includes his maternal Uncle Trung and family. Extended family remain in Vietnam.<\/p>\n<p>Viet started off at Frank Porter Graham Child Development Center in 1980 and finished up at Chapel Hill High School in 1998. He earned his undergraduate degree at Duke in political science and French in 2002. He earned a master\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in French literature from Columbia in 2008. Viet began the MBA program at Stanford in September 2008. With his parents\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 hard work and commitment, he followed his goals. The family appreciates the support of every community that touched him along the way.<\/p>\n<p>A memorial service will be held at 2:30 p.m. today (Thursday) at St. Thomas More Catholic Church, 940 Carmichael St. \u00e2\u20ac\u201d <em>Ann Shy<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-community"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3741","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3741"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3741\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3741"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3741"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ibiblio.org\/carrborocitizen\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3741"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}