Entering
Late, Leaving
Early - Part Two
PRINCIPLES
OF EFFICIENT SCENE DESIGN
by
Charles Deemer (May-01-2001)
Hollywood has mastered good scene design and even otherwise poorly crafted
movies are likely to have efficient scenes. But good movies, of course,
use good scene design to better dramatic effect. In my University screenwriting
class, I use The Birdcage as an especially good example of film
storytelling with efficient scene design.
Examples From The Birdcage
Let's look at two scene transitions from The Birdcage.
In the first, Armand has been trying to teach Albert how to walk like a man. When Albert accidentally bumps into a customer on the patio, Armand rushes to his defense like a macho hero. The customer stands up. Here is what follows:
MAN
(rising to a very full height)
Did you just call me an asshole?ARMAND
No...actually, I was talking to the asshole behind you.
INT. ARMAND'S APARTMENT - DAY
Armand is lying on the couch. Albert is applying cold compresses to his head.
ALBERT
See? The swelling's already gone down. You were magnificent. Marvelous. Very masculine. I'm so proud of you. That big idiot looked so ridiculous when he sat on you and banged your head on the ground. He didn't even know how to box.
Study this transition carefully because it reveals the key to efficient scene design. What is left out is as important, maybe more important, than what is left in. Notice that what is missing is the physical confrontation itself. In a comedy like this, physical violence would be inappropriate and Albert's subsequent description of the fight is far funnier than seeing the fight.
A beginning screenwriter would take a page or more to make this transition. We'd see the fight, and we'd see Albert helping Armand get home, and we'd see Albert helping Armand to the couch and running off to prepare cold compresses. But in the context of the story, all those details are irrelevant.
The story itself always determines what details you need to show, because they support the story and move it forward, and which details are "fat" because they do not move the story forward.
Another example. Armand has come up with the idea that Val's mother might help them in their charade as a straight family. Here is what follows:
VAL
You really think she'd do it? Wow. My mother ...
INT. KATHARINE ARCHER'S OFFICE
KATHARINE
(on phone)
Oh, my God! Armand! I don't believe it! It's been a hundred years. Where are you?
Again, this transition has great efficiency, leaving out all the unnecessary details that a beginner would put in: Armand's going to the phone to make the call, a secretary at Katharine's office answering the phone, and so on.
Good scene design is about making scene transitions that are tight and dramatic, ending a scene when its point is made and beginning the next scene in the middle of an action when the story again moves forward.
Tips
Although it is always the particular context that determines scene design, there are some principles that will help you make tighter scenes. Think of ending a scene with a kind of "punch line" or a moment that raises or asks a question. Each naturally leads to something new, the next scene.
Think of scene beginnings as starting in the middle of an action at the point where new story information begins to be revealed. In other words, cut all the "set up" material of the scene and let the context itself set the scene. Get to the point of the scene from the beginning.
Admittedly, there are other factors that justify more leisurely scene development, such as pacing and suspense. If we see a serial killer hide in the closet as a woman comes into her apartment, that knowledge will keep us on edge for a much longer scene than we'd accept otherwise, if the apartment were empty. We are constantly thinking, "Is he coming out?"
But in general,
the problem beginners have is putting too much detail into a scene,
starting it too early and ending it too late. If you concentrate on
scene openings and endings when you rewrite, cutting from the top and
from the bottom, you should learn to write tight, focused scenes that
have no fat and no dull moments.
Charles Deemer is the author of Screenwright:
The Craft of Screenwriting
and the webmaster (since 1994) of the Screenwriters
and Playwrights Home Page
at www.screenwright.com.
He teaches screenwriting at Portland State University.
"Entering Late, Leaving Early -- Part Two" Copyright © 2001 Charles Deemer. All Rights Reserved.