Good screenplay rhetoric is simple writing, clean and crisp. Simple sentences are used. In fact, complex sentences are almost never used in good screenwriting!
Here is an example of good screenplay rhetoric, from John Guare's wonderful screenplay, Atlantic City. This is the end of the story.
INT. TROCADERO HOTEL - CORRIDOR - DAY Grace, all dolled up in a mink coat and a hat, is quite apprehensive. Grace walks down the corridor to Room 307. She rings the doorbell. Alfie opens the door. The card game is still going on in the room. ALFIE Yes? I think you have the wrong room. Grace holds out the last bit of cocaine in the silver foil. Alfie's jaw drops. GRACE One thousand. ALFIE Why not? He reaches into his pocket and hands her a thousand dollar bill. He shuts the door. Grace turns and walks back up the corridor holding up the thousand dollar bill. Lou is standing at the other end of the corridor. He applauds her. She takes his arm. They leave. EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY Grace and Lou walk down the Boardwalk. She proudly holds his arm. Behind them, a wrecking ball strikes a building, preparing to demolish it. The building won't give. The ball hits it again. The building won't give. THE END
At the level of rhetoric, note that this is only a step above "See Spot run." Rhetorical variety is added with compound verbs and modifying elements but notice that not a single subordinate clause is present -- no complex sentences!
I think this still can be improved in one way: by beginning a new paragraph after "She proudly holds his arm." A new paragraph emphasizes the image of the wrecking ball. Then we emphasize it a second time in the following paragraph. This is opening up the writing into smaller paragraphs, adding white space, which has been the trend since Guare wrote this script.
Use this as a model for your own rhetorical style.
02/02