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Memo to: G."I've Still Got Time" Talbeaux
From: Jake
Subject: A Few Last Minute Thoughts about Gifts for One's Bride

Rule #1. NEVER EVER buy her anything that has a cord or gasoline engine.
Rule #2. NEVER EVER buy her anything that has to do with dieting or exercise.
Rule #3. NEVER EVER throw away that @#*&% sales receipt.

Speaking from experience, I remain your obedient servant,

 

The JakeSpeak Collection