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Memo to: G. "Wanna buy a Killer Whale?" Talbeau
From: Jake
Subject: The House Painter

The weekend, punctuated only by the occasional waft of an alkyd resin throughout our neighborhood, passed in relative tranquillity with nary a peep from Sparky. Jake, concerned for the poor fellow's general well-being, made voice contact to confirm his status as a mortal. Seems that he is alive indeed, and has high hopes of rejoining the tour in the very near future. Physical damage appears to be limited to a bad case of "painter's wrist", but the mental trauma of such a harrowing experience can only be cured by a few timely "tastes" of Jameson's and a soothing sojourn at Kiawah. Although still somewhat shaken by his brief indentment as a house painter, Sparky looks forward to making a renewed appearance upon the hallowed links this very Sunday. God save the Queen!

 

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