A true tree person would have already figured out
something I now need to address before I can continue writing in Act Two:
Who are they? What is their cause? What is the ransom they are going to demand for the First Lady?
The possibilities that first come to mind are obvious and, in fact, something of a cliché in movies today:
How much more original our concept would be if we had our kidnappers connected to a less obvious cause. Some possibilities:
Well, you can see how much the feel of the story will change, depending on how we fill this vacuum in our developing story. The tax payer rebellion, in particular, strikes me as challenging - but also more difficult to think through. For this exercise, I'm going to make my kidnappers Spanish Basques.
So to do this right, I'd need to do some research. I recall reading about a separatist movement of Basques - now I need to find out the details in order to see what I can use or twist to the purposes of my story.
For the sake of argument here, I will assume that the U.S. had concluded a treaty with Spain that hurts the Basques or their separatist movement in some way - and this is the motivation of the kidnappers.
With this (little) decided, let me move ahead. Let's say I've continued the script through these major story steps to the end of Act One:
Let's pick it up the story (note: since I'm using Basque separatists now, I'll change Karl's name to Carlo. I'll be changing Emil's name later, too, but I'll keep it until we start rewriting):
INT. FARM HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY
The First Lady is stretched out on the bed. She's staring
at the ceiling.
The door opens, and Emil steps in.
EMIL
Time for lunch.
FIRST LADY
I'm not hungry.
He goes to the bed and grabs her arm.
FIRST LADY
Let go of me!
Emil starts dragging her out of the room.
INT. FARM HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Emil half-carries the First Lady into the room, throwing
her down on a sofa.
FIRST LADY
That wasn't necessary.
Carlo enters, carrying her lunch.
CARLO
What wasn't necessary?
EMIL
She says she's not hungry.
CARLO
With your cooking, who can blame her?
He smiles at the First Lady.
CARLO
You get a new chef today. It's
my specialty.
He puts the plate on the table in front of her. It's a
gourmet wonder: fish and steamed vegetables, adorned with
a bed of polenta.
CARLO
I know you'll love it. While you eat,
we'll listen to your husband on the radio.
He moves to turn on the radio.
FIRST LADY
I'm not hungry.
Carlo ignores her and tunes in a station.
Emil glares at her, and the First Lady sticks out her
tongue at him. Emil doesn't react.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY
The President sits before a radio mic, delivering his weekly
address. Aides and technicians stand around him.
PRESIDENT
May we move forward with Godspeed to become
the best people we can be. Good afternoon,
and God bless America.
The President looks at a technician, who gives him an okay
sign.
An aide moves close to the President.
AIDE
I hope you know what you're doing.
INT. FARMHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
PRESIDENT (ON RADIO)
...to become the best people we can
be. Good afternoon, and God bless
America.
Carlo and Emil are stunned to hear the radio talk, which
included no coded verification.
EMIL
Dammit! How can he do this?
FIRST LADY
Did I miss something?
Emil turns off the radio. Carlo moves to the First Lady.
CARLO
You haven't touched your lunch.
The First Lady picks up the plate - and dumps lunch on the
floor.
FIRST LADY
I hope you have a pet.
EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT
The car pulls in front of the remote house and parks.
Carlo and Emil get out and go inside.
INT. FARMHOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
The First Lady is reading in bed.
There's a tap on the door. Without waiting for a reply,
Carlo opens the door and enters. He is carrying a
newspaper.
CARLO
Your husband is doing nothing to save
you.
He drops the newspaper on her lap.
INSERT: NEWSPAPER
with the headline "Stressed out First Lady in hiding"
BACK TO SCENE
The First Lady is looking at the front page.
CARLO
Do you know why he's doing this?
FIRST LADY
Maybe he thinks you won't hurt me.
Will you?
Carlo looks at her a moment before answering.
CARLO
What do you think of the book?
FIRST LADY
It's interesting. I know nothing about
the Basques.
CARLO
We are not so different from Americans.
Especially when you were a young country,
fighting for your independence. We only
want to be free.
FIRST LADY
What if I told you I want to be free as
well?
Again Carlo looks at her a moment before responding. He seems
to be studying her. Then he turns without a word and steps
toward the door.
FIRST LADY
You never answered my question.
Carlo turns to her.
FIRST LADY
Do you plan to hurt me?
CARLO
Not if it goes my way.
He leaves.
The First Lady stares ahead for a long time. She looks worried.
Then she picks up the book, but quickly decides against reading.
She rolls onto her side and finally closes her eyes.
EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT
All the lights in the farmhouse are out.
INT. FARMHOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
The First Lady lies in the dark, awake. She is listening for
sounds in the house.
Slowly, carefully, she lifts herself up on an elbow. Her face
strains against the silent darkness.
She slides one leg to the floor, then the other. She stands up.
She's in her slip and now steps very slowly to a chair across
the room, where her clothes are folded.
INT. FARMHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Carlo is stretched out on the sofa, snoring.
There's no sign of Emil.
INT. FARMHOUSE - BEDROOM/HALLWAY - NIGHT
The First Lady comes out from the bedroom into the hallway.
She stops listening.
In the distance, she hears Carlo's SNORING for the first time.
Which way to go? She considers both ways, then decides to head
away from the living room, toward the back of the house.
She moves against the wall, one step at a time, measuring each
one against the fragile silence surrounding her.
She comes to the doorway into the bathroom. The door is open,
the room dark. It looks safe.
She steps ahead to cross the bathroom - and suddenly Emil darts
out and grabs her.
He holds a hand over her mouth before she can scream and whispers
in her ear.
EMIL
I give you your life this time. Not
the next. You understand me?
I would want to pick up with the President here, I think, but I'm going
to continue at the farmhouse. Since screenwriting is modular, you don't
have to write in the sequence of the step outline. Sometimes I like to
keep with the same characters, knowing that I'm going to have to break
up these sequences later.
INT. FARMHOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY
Carlo comes into the room. The First Lady is bound and gagged
on the bed.
CARLO
Emil tells me you tried to get away last
night.
Behind the gag, the First Lady glares at him.
CARLO
I will untie you if you promise to behave
like a good guest.
The First Lady shakes her head, yes.
CARLO
Good.
He takes off the gag first, and the First Lady inhales deeply.
Then he unties her.
She shakes out her arms.
CARLO
We've been talking about what to do with
you.
FIRST LADY
I've been thinking about that myself. I have
an idea.
CARLO
So do we. You first.
FIRST LADY
Put me in front of a video camera. I'll
say whatever you want.
Carlo has to smile.
FIRST LADY
What's so funny?
CARLO
What's the saying? "Great minds think alike."
INSERT: TELEVISION SET
The First Lady is on television.
FIRST LADY (on camera)
I'm safe and being treated well. If the
conditions for my release are met, I feel
confident they'll keep up their end of the
bargain. If they seem like desperate men,
it's because they believe so much in the
freedom of their people. Is it really too
much to ask to give them their day in
court?
The screen goes black.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - OFFICE - DAY
The President and several aides have been watching the videotape
in the President's office.
AIDE
It's being released to the networks at
five unless we respond.
The President taps his fingers on the desk.
PRESIDENT
God, I hate this.
AIDE
The other was a bad idea, sir. If this
gets out, it's even worse.
PRESIDENT
Thank you for the vote of confidence.
The President is still thinking, drumming with his fingers.
PRESIDENT
If we present the resolution in the U.N.,
how do we know they won't turn around and
ask for something else?
The aides exchange glances.
ANOTHER AIDE
We don't.
AIDE
It's a gamble, any way you cut it. But
I think they mean it.
PRESIDENT
Why?
The aide shrugs. No one else has a concrete reason either.
Okay. Not a bad draft thus far. We have conflict and complications.
We're moving right along.
We still have the plot point at midpoint to move to - and I have a new idea for this, or rather a layering that makes it more interesting. Our original plot point, recall, is that the First Lady gets sympathy for her kidnappers and the Basque cause - and in fact is attracted to Carlo very much.
So let's say the President gives in and the United States makes a resolution in the U.N. condemning Spain for its treatment of Basques and making demands for Basque independence. The conditions for the release have been met - but the First Lady refuses to go. She thinks there is more to do, and she doesn't think her husband has gone as far as he is capable of going.
This would be a definite reversal and "new goal" for the First Lady. I think I like it.
But I won't write that part of the script here. I'll do that wearing my hat as a forest person.
SCREENWRIGHT: the craft of screenwriting8/97