The Elvis Seance

A real seance conducted in January

Greetings to fans of the King:

My friends and I, being avid Elvis fans, recently took part in a special party on his birthday (January 8th, 1994). This party included a seance wherein we were lucky enough to make contact with Elvis Presley Himself.

Due to this being (in our minds) an historic occurance which would be of relevence to all rock and roll fans and the world at large, we feel that it is necessary for us to share the contents of our disscussion with you all.

Following is the list o f the questions we posed to the King via homemade Ouiji Board, and the answers we got, followed by a brief interpretation:

Question: Elvis, are you in this room?
Answer: Yes
Interpretation: We were overjoyed to find out that our efforts had indeed summoned the King. From this answer we can also postulate that Elvis must then be dead. (Reincarnation was out of the question as all persons present were older than 17 years. However, he could have been alive, but outside of our view, i.e. looking in through our window.

Question: Do you approve of drug abuse?
Answer: No
Interpretation: Having had the last 17 years to ponder his last years with us on Earth, it seems Elvis has learned from his own mistakes.

Question: Do you approve of the way Graceland has been handled during your absence?
Answer: Yes
Interpretation: Pretty obvious.

Question: Do you like the path that Priscilla has chosen since your death?
Answer: No
Interpretation: This answer was unexpected. Perhaps she is not honoring the Presley name as He sees it.

Question: Are Fried banana and peanutbutter sandwiches as good as your biographies say thay were?
Answer: Yes/No
Interpretation: They're good tasting, but he admits that they're pretty bad for you.

Question: Do you know Bob Saget?
Answer: No/5/6
Interpretation: Not personally, but the King has seen his show five or six times. (Surely this was a relief to Elvis- this means there is TV in Heaven.)

Question: Do you like the stamp?
Answer: No/V
Interpretation: We interpreted the V as "very much". This startled us. He was a showman when he was alive, why wouldn't he approve of the commemorative stamp? Perhaps the stamp reminds him of how he once was, before the regrettable problems a nd he feels remorse.

Question: Are you still being creative?
Answer: Yes
Interpretation: What a relief it was to receive that answer. This could only mean that He is comfortable wherever he is and that he is still finding ways to vent his creative genius. The mind reels: concerts in Heaven?

Question: Do you grant us your permission to distribute the information we have received here tonight globally on Internet?
Answer: Yes
Interpretation: Maybe he is still a showman. We also asked this question out of politeness to the King.

One final note: We plan to hold another deep seance on the anniversary of the night of his "death" in an attempt to learn the answers to the darker questions surrounding the Kings last days on Earth. We plan as well to probe the great beyond to find ou t just where he is now.

Participants in the seance:
Jerry Benedict
Tom Bierly
Craig Harris, 73733.2316@COMPUSERVE.COM
David Levine, DML601A@ZEUS.TAMU.EDU

This text was compiled by Randy Miles, DNGERMOUSE@AOL.COM

Return to weird links