Sexuality resources for survivors
Haines, S. (1999). The Survivor's Guide to Great Sex : How to Have a Great Sex Life - Even if You've Been Sexually Abused. Cleis Press. Paperback, 1st ed., 200pp. ISBN: 1573440795
Maltz, W. (2001). The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. New York: Collins. Website: Healthy Sex
Maltz, W. (2003). Treating the Sexual Intimacy Concerns of Sexual Abuse Survivors. Contemporary Sexuality. 37 (7). pi, 7p.
"The article presents a study on the measures taken to treat intimate concerns in sexual abuse survivors. Due to the extremely high prevalence of sexual abuse in the culture, and the fact that sexual abuses causes a variety of sexual problems, a large proportion of patients seeking sex and relationship therapy will have inevitably histories of incest, rape, molestation and other types of sexual exploitation. To work effectively, therapists need to understand the sexual impact of sexual abuse and be familiar with the special sexual healing strategies and techniques that have been developed for survivors and their intimate partners. Sexual abuse occurs whenever one person dominates and exploits others by means of sexual activity or suggestion. In abusive sex, perpetrators exploits sexual feelings and behaviors to degrade, humiliate, control, hurt or otherwise mistreat the victims. Coercion and manipulation often play into sexual abuse. Sexual healing is an empowering process that enables survivors to address and overcome sexual problems caused by past abuse."
Crawford, Colin (1997) Forbidden Femininity: Child Sexual Abuse and Female Sexuality
"Recovering from a sexual assault is an ongoing process that occurs over time. In this pamphlet we offer many suggestions for dealing with the sexual part of your life during this recovery period. Some approaches will be more helpful depending on your background and life situation. We urge you to experiment with some of these ideas. There is not a "right way" for handling sexual relations following an assault - see what feels safe and comfortable for you."
This site has information about how to make romantic relationships work post assault. "this section of emergence is dedicated to a particular area of healing, that which involves romance, love, and sexuality. this is one of the hardest areas of healing for me, i know, and many others have also expressed this."
Keeping the kisses sweet emphasizes the survivor feeling safe in romantic situations without feeling pressure. "work on being comfortable with your lover. cuddle, hold hands, kiss lightly, brush each other's hair, spend plenty of time together. it will help you build trust and establish familiarity with your lover, and this way more intense physical contact won't be as much of a shock."
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