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Oppiliappan List Archive: Message 00088 Oct 2008

 
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SrI:
 
Dear Srimathy Radha Parthasarathy :
 
This can be done. 
 
There are however all kinds of hang ups .
Let me list a few .
 
There are poor parents of girls from great vamsams ,
who can not come up with the dowry demanded . Instead of
looking for the girl's kulam , intelligence ,
educational accomplishments and compatability ,  
the parents of the boy are very demanding .
 
Our potential grooms inspite of their education
and positions do not show much independent thinking
and make the wife's life miserable . The Mother in Laws
of girls should welcome the brides and not compete
with them for the sons' demonstration of
loyalty and affection . The parents should
encourage the sons to grow up emotionally .    
 
Today's girls or their parents also drive hard bargains .
They do not have much respect for their traditional
values . They are economically secure and
price themselves out of the market .
 
There are plenty of matrimonial sites but in reality
they are poorly managed and are assembly of
antiquated records .
 
The cruelty of Blaming girls born under Moolam
and boys with Aayilyam etc and condemning them
to the back heap are not bright ways of going about
addressing the apt matching . After all , there are
27 stars .One has to be born under one or the other .
 
The best would be to perform Prapatti and acknowledge that
the grahams have no power over a Prapannan and marry
a girl from a good kulam , not seek dowry and make sure
that the boys and girls are from different gotrams .
 
If some one who is a web Master can help me
set up a special site to list prospects ( Brides and
bridegrooms ) , who will not see the world thru
the color glasses of dowry , I can mange this site
with the help of a few well wishers and try to help .
 
V.Sadagopan
NamO SrI NrusimAa ,   
 
P.S : I know of a beautiful VaishNavite girl from
a good Kulam and large family ( 3 children) , whose
father has midlevel Manager's job . The girl has
graduated from the of the top Institutes of Finanace
and Management and has a good job . The parents
are sending the son to an overseas institution to get
an advanced degree . The parents can hardly afford 
a major dowry . A Joyous celebration of marriage 
with appropriate groom for this girl without dhadapudal
( Pomp ) at a Temple or Sri Matam and private reception
would eb the best way to go to start their lives
supporting each other and respecting their parents .    
 
 
  
 
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, October 11, 2008 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: [Oppiliappan] Difficulties faced in finding suitable alliances.

Namaskaram:

Well said. For whatever reasons, youngsters seem to be lost and clue less and parents are helpless. Both girls and boys are not uncomfortable in marrying outside of the community. I have been trying to find a bride for my son for the last 5 years and am still unsuccessful, sounds ridiculous but it is the fact.

It will be nice if some how, we can bring the community back together, making the youngsters understand the enormous wealth we have in the form of our culture, tradition and clean life style.

Namaskaram.

Mrs. Radha Parthasarathy

On Sat, Oct 11, 2008 at 10:08 AM, Madhavan <rammadhav@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

SRI : ||

Hare Krishna.

Dear Sri Vaishnavas,

Adiyen's Pranamam to all of you.

Most of us are aware of the very difficult situation we are facing in finding suitable alliances. There are so many reasons for this tough position faced by parents of boys & girls.Parents of sons & daughters with advancing  ages are in utter despair.

In this situation, we are shocked to see that some untoward happenenings,when the marriages get very much delayed. From the present trend, it can be inferred that it will become very difficult to find s suitable brides / bridegrooms in the not  too distant  future and also end up in more and more of our children marrying  anyone,  as it happens now.

Instead of allowing the situation from worsening, a timely action, though belated, is urgently needed.

We ara all followers of Swami Ramanuja and call ourselves as Ramanuja Dasas. Anyone who accepts Bagavad Ramanuja as their Supreme Acharya are to be revered   &  accepted as our kith and kin.

Will some people who have broad vision and interested in securing the preservation , protection and promotion of our Sath Sampradayam, take the lead in counselling and convincing that all the subsects among the Iyengars should join hands to encourage and promote alliances without subsect  restriction ?

We have moved with time in many walks of life in adapting changes

and marriage alliances should not be an exception.

It is very common now to see Iyengars getting married to other Brahmin sects   and  even othe communities and religions, That being the case, will it not be the right and wise thing to do our best in getting rid of the subsect problem among Iyengars in arranging suitable alliances.

It is a loud thought from me,as may be the case with many others, who are witnessing the difficulties faced by the parents of Srivaishnava Brahmin Brides & Bridegrooms in fixing suitable alliances to reduce the difficulties faced .

An open discussion may enlighten many and take us towards a possible solution to ease the situation.

 In fact our  Acharyas & Greatmen doing  yeoman service to our community, can

 play a very great  & positive role in this serious & urgent problem faced by Srivaishnavas as a whole.

Let no one get offended  for  our opening this topic, which has been due to our witnessing the enormous problems faced by our community in the matter of marriage alliances, especially the parents.

Regards / Good Wishes.

Adiyen Sri Ramanuja Dasan,

Kombur Vankeepuram Madhavan.

Please Help The Needy as it is Service To God.


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Oppiliappan Koil Varadachari Sadagopan
http://www.sadagopan.org




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