Passages I am changing will be hyperlinked to the changes. You can get a visual sense of how much rewriting I'm doing, too, by scrolling down and seeing the blue links. (As earlier, I'm using the character names Carlo and Andres throughout, one from each of our original two scripts.)
Note: the rewriting exercise below is relatively minor, compared to the major changes in story and character that can happen when a script is in development with a producer. To give you an indication of how this works, I've included two complete screenplays of mine:
Comparing these two screenplays will show you how much can change, even after a script is optioned. These changes are made because the producer wants them made, not because the writer wants them made. Once the producer options the script, he owns it (until the option expires) and if the writer doesn't want to make the changes, the producer will hire another writer to make them. Thus writers can be fired from their own projects -- and frequently are. Being a screenwriter in Hollywood can be a little like playing musical chairs -- you get fired from your own script and get rehired to rewrite someone else's script because s/he, too, has been fired. Such is the strange life of the screenwriter.
From Act One: FADE IN: EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY A picture postcard view on a bright sunny morning. (1) INT. WHITE HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY The PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, 50s, and FIRST LADY, 40s, sit at opposite ends of a long table. (2) PRESIDENT That's all I can tell you. [ADD] (3) The First Lady stares at him. She looks like someone ready to explode. [ADD] PRESIDENT Gwen, you've lived in this town long enough to know how vicious rumors can be. FIRST LADY I don't believe they're rumors. I think it's the truth. PRESIDENT In many ways you're still the naive girl from Nebraska, aren't you? (4) Suddenly, with a single sweep of her arm, the First Lady knocks her dish (5) and coffee cup to the floor. She quickly stands, temper flush (6) on her cheeks. FIRST LADY Don't patronize me! She strides quickly out of the room. The President gets up from the table. (7) PRESIDENT Gwen, you're being irrational. You're just proving my point. But she's gone - just as THOMAS, 40s, a servant, enters the room. (8) THOMAS Mr. President? PRESIDENT The First lady had an accident. We'll have to get this cleaned up. THOMAS Yes, sir. [ADD] (9) EXT. WHITE HOUSE - STREET/DRIVEWAY - DAY Two men stand by a car parked across the street from the driveway into the White House. (10) One is CARLO, 40s, handsome and fit. His partner is ANDRES, 50s, overweight, who chomps on an unlit cigar in his mouth. CARLO Here she comes. Across the street, the First Lady comes out and bends into the back seat of a limo [ADD]. (11) She still looks like she's in a huff. Carlo and Andres hurry into their car, a clunker. (12) Carlo starts the engine. The limo pulls out and heads down the street. Carlo and Andres move into traffic behind it. (13) INT. CAR - DAY Andres has taken a pistol out of the glove compartment and is loading it. ANDRES This better be the day. I'm sick of this shit. CARLO I have a feeling it will be. [ADD] (14) ------- EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. - STREETS - DAY The car continues to follow the limo through city streets. EXT. HOSPITAL - ENTRANCE - DAY The limo is parked in front of a hospital. INT. HOSPITAL - DAY ROOM - DAY The First Lady is visiting patients. Her aides move her along, (15) aware that she is on a tight schedule. EXT. HOSPITAL - STREET - DAY The two men stand by their car, watching the limo across the street. (16) [ADD] CARL0 Amazing how much charity work she does, isn't it? ANDRES What's so amazing about it? CARLO She doesn't have to do this. ANDRES Course she does. Makes the President look good. CARLO Every day, three or four places like this? It's a full time job. ANDRES What the hell else she supposed to do? Spend the day at the beauty parlor? CARLO Here they come. (17) EXT. HOSPITAL - ENTRANCE - DAY The First Lady and her party get back into the limo. The limo pulls away from the hospital and back into traffic. The car moves in behind the limo again. EXT. GAS STATION - DAY The limo is getting gas. Carlo and Andres are parked down the way and watching. The First Lady gets out of the limo and heads for the restroom, which is in the back of the building. Carlo seizes the moment. CARLO Now! They get into their car. (18) EXT. GAS STATION - RESTROOM - DAY The car pulls behind the gas station, near the restroom. Looking around carefully, Andres gets out and moves slowly toward the door to the women's room. He has his pistol at the ready. Carlo, meanwhile, is slowly backing the car toward the door to the restroom. (19) Andres takes a position beside the door and waits. Carlo has the car in position and parks. He and Andres exchange a tense glance. Just then a FEMALE CUSTOMER comes around the building to the restroom. She sees Andres and then the gun - and she SCREAMS. In the car, Carlo grimaces and gestures to Andres, "do something!" The restroom door opens, and the First Lady comes out. Andres grabs her. The female customer turns and starts running for the corner of the building. [ADD] Carlo jumps out of the car and races to help Andres. Together, Carlo and Andres drag and shove the First Lady into the back seat of the car. Andres gets in with her as Carlo slips back behind wheel. An AIDE comes around the building, gun drawn, and Andres stops him with one shot. Carlo races out of the parking lot. The GAS STATION ATTENDANT races forward, firing a pistol at the departing car. (20) INT. CAR - DAY Carlo is speeding through traffic. His eyes dart up to the rearview mirror and back at traffic. In the back seat, Andres has the First Lady in quiet terror, the pistol pointed at her head. ----------
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