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LETTER: Far from ‘the worst’

Posted on April 12, 2012April 11, 2012 by Staff

I’m finally filling up my new silver Prius that has been running on empty for the past 40 miles. I shake out my dark, messy locks to shed a flurry of confetti from the Good Friday fiesta across the street. I pull back my hair, obscuring most of the remaining confetti, then wait for my car to fill at the corner. The one where the day laborers wait.

A shiny blue car pulls up to mirror me at the pump. I’m in a happy daze, the smiles and laughs of the children across the street still tangled in my mind like the confetti in my hair. The driver steps out: a Duke T-shirt, black yoga pants and a non-sequitur khaki jacket. She snarks, “This place is the worst.” We hadn’t even made eye contact, but as if she finds comfort in my Old Navy V-neck, Express jeans and Toyota Prius, she confides in me her bitter feelings for a place that isn’t home. I smile. A pained, piercing smile.

“This place is the worst.” I don’t know what she meant, but I can guess. My face went sour as she disappeared behind the dividing pillar. I said nothing, but I screamed inside. Before I knew it, she was driving away with who I assume were her husband and son.

“This place is the worst.” The sun is setting. A tall black man in baggy pants lumbers through the BP parking lot in which I wait. Two Mexican men sit against the convenience store wall, probably drinking beers. A teenage Latino cuts across the four lanes of Jones Ferry Road on a bike. There are loiterers that I didn’t notice.

“This place is the worst.” White is not invisible here. Yet sometimes I forget that this is not my home. Open doors, full plates, endless conversation. Bright laughs, warm hugs, colorful imaginations. I forget what it looks like from a pump at the corner across the street. “This place is the worst.”
Earlier that day, two Mexican mothers told me stories of racial discrimination they have experienced in Carrboro, and how they wish they were proficient enough in English to defend themselves. She said, “This place is the worst,” and I said nothing. English is my native language, and I said nothing.
I still don’t know what I should have said. I wanted to lie and say that I live across the street. Or maybe I should have told her about the family-friendly party I was coming from. Maybe I should have asked, “Why is this place the worst?” or “What do you mean?”

Unfortunately, “this place” is the worst. Management is oppressive; it’s where you live if you’re “poor;” no one wants to wait hours at the corner for a day’s worth of minimum-wage (if you’re lucky) labor; and people who have the privilege of leaving this place don’t give you the time of day when they pass through.

This place is the worst, but it’s also one of the best I know. It may be your pit stop, but it’s my friends’ home. And you too may see it as a home if you look past the Prius that shares your pump and notice the colorful confetti that decorates the grass across the street.

Lauren Kennedy

Chapel Hill

3 thoughts on “LETTER: Far from ‘the worst’”

  1. Salette Andrews says:
    April 12, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    I’ve lived in at least 20 cities in at least 12 states. This is the best.

  2. amanda ashley says:
    April 13, 2012 at 1:38 am

    A lovely letter with sea deep meanings. I newly live “here” too, and Lauren speaks my mind on the hidden beauty so many folks dismiss and overlook. As the former other-side-of-the-tracks village of West End/Venable/Carrboro makes its headlong rush into becoming the hipster Beverly Hills of the Piedmont, I would hope that some of you leave your superciliousness at home, and instead pass along some kindness to those who work hard to make this place the best.
    amanda ashley

  3. clarence swinney says:
    April 20, 2012 at 7:01 am

    shame on us
    Shame
    14,000 National Income–3600 budget–borrow 1300
    50% get 87% inidvidual income
    70,000,000 workers get 13%
    10% get 50%
    OECD rankings–#2 Least taxed–#2 Least Taxed Corporations-#3 inequality
    Tax Book=Chirstmas Tree for goodies for Rich and Corporations
    Public fund election–6 months-3 primary 3 general-debate  week=12-adequate to evaluate candidates—no $$  none
    Since members of Congress and White House would have no need for campaign funds
    ban acceptance of anything with a financial value.. This closes K Street Bribery
    Will we change to protect the Middle Class?
    Christian Nation? Care For The Least Amongst thee.
    POOR= most used word by Jesus Christ
    clarence swinney Lifeaholics of America burlington
    Work For a LIFE not just a LIVING($$$$$$)

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