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Recently: Carrying on after the bottom falls out

Posted on May 1, 2008 by Staff

By Valarie Schwartz

There are two ponds in my neighborhood. The one nearest my house has a fallen tree lying across a portion of it upon which on sunny days a host of turtles can be found collecting vitamin D. They line the log from both ends, dozens of them, each looking toward the middle of the 20-foot expanse as though lined up for a tug of war. One day I decided to walk over and take a photo of the sunbathers. But as I approached, a squirrel darted out in front of me as I heard a barely discernible noise and, looking at the log, found it empty — in a splash.

The other pond has its own visitor. A lone goose has been circling around in my neighbor Ginny’s pond pretty much since the March rains replenished it. I’ve imagined the goose to be injured and taking time to heal; or that it has lost its mate and with it the desire to join the rest of its flock. The other day, I saw what I’m sure was that goose feeding off another neighbor’s chickweed. Moments later, it was taking another spin around the pond. Maybe that’s the gander, and his mate is nesting, but it seems like those eggs would have hatched by now.

At the end of a busy time, we sometimes feel at loose ends. For over five months, I’ve looked forward to this week, knowing that something I’d prepared for and worked toward would be behind me and that the pressure of preparing and planning would be released.

Instead of feeling energized by having this multi-faceted task off my plate, there’s more a sense of a letdown, even though everything went well and all had a good time.

Maybe it’s because of the unrelated news that came via email hours after the event. News that melted me, turned me into a keening ball, cut me off at the knees, punched me in the stomach — every vision of imaginable pain for one to feel when learning that the young adult child of a dear friend has sustained a brain injury that has left everything else in the life of that family hanging in the wind.

Hours before learning the news, while at a concert in Memorial Hall, it struck me how much effort had gone into creating a pleasurable, two-hour event — the details, both large and small — from the wording on the programs, the selection of guest speakers, the arranging of flowers placed on a pedestal chosen to stand behind the cellist and pianist, who had studied for many years, memorizing music to perform flawlessly on the finest of instruments that had been crafted from the best of wood, brass and strings.

Before the concert, I had been shushed by the piano-tuner as my voice interrupted his ability to achieve the perfect alignment between tones so that the Steinway would be pitch-perfect — another member of the team striving for his best.

Little did I know that another team was being built — a team of friends gathering round, providing food, hugs, information and support as loved ones struggle within a drama they wish never to have known.

Like the turtles, the family in torment over their son and brother wants to be left alone or to find safety in the bubbles below; or like the goose, wants unaltered flight with their flock.

But sometimes the familiar path ahead disappears and life brings no choice at all as we step into the unknown.
We cannot plan for it, cannot know what it might be or how we will react; we can only hope that we have done our best along the way so that our team — our community — comes together and carries us through.

Contact Valarie Schwartz at 923-3746 or valariekays@mac.com

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