Most rape victims are suffering from Rape
Related PTSD which may make the victim feel very disoriented.
At this
stage victims may do or say things which aren't logical. While it's important
to make a victim feel that they have regained control over their life
and decisions, victims often have great difficulty functioning after an
assault.
It is crucial that the people around them educate themselves to:
The links
below will help you begin to understand and help your loved ones. If
you are reporting a rape you should ask the local crisis center for a
victim's advocate who will walk you through the process. For
information on Reporting
a rape click here.
Most
rape survivors need to speak with a crisis counselor. You can find one
at 1 800-656-HOPE in the US. Rape crisis centers often offer free in-person
counseling as well as phone support. Survivors should also seek therapy
from a specialist in rape trauma syndrome (also look into EMDR).
Are you
a partner
or significant other of a rape victim? This
page has advice from survivors.
The best
ways to reduce feelings of shame are:
What
is rape trauma syndrome? Please download this document and find out.
"Two main styles
of emotion were shown by the victims within the first few hours after
the rape: expressed and controlled. In the expressed style. the victim
demonstrated such feelings as anger, fear and anxiety. They were restless
during the interview, becoming tense when certain questions were asked,
crying or sobbing when describing specific acts of the assailant, smiling
in an anxious manner when certain issues were stated. In the controlled
style, the feelings of the victim were masked or hidden, and a calm, composed
or subdued affect could be noted. "
What
can you expect of a person who has just been assaulted?
http://www.gmu.edu/facstaff/sexual/Helping_Hints.htm
What can you expect
after a person has been raped?
In most cases these symptoms prevent rape victims from functioning at
full capacity and helping themselves. It’s important at this time
for others to give their support and help protect them.
Coping and Reactions - Rape Trauma Syndrome. What to expect from an assault
survivor.
How
to help rape victims who are experiencing trauma
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/friend.html
How to help rape victims
and the stages of trauma.
This site was recommended by the founder of hope for healing (on a message
board) with the advice that you can also order a paper copy.
How to
help rape victims from RAINN
http://www.rainn.org/whatshould.html
RAINN how to help
rape victims. How can I help a friend who has been sexually assaulted?
What
NOT to say
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/not.html
What not to
say to a rape victim.
How
to Support a Friend who has been raped
http://omega-alpha.com/womenscounselling/supportafriend.htm
The best thing
you can do for a friend who tells you that they are being sexually abused
is to listen.
Supporting
Someone Who Has Been Raped or Sexually Assaulted
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Abuse/lisk/family_friends.htm
"When someone
has been raped or sexually assaulted, they obviously need a great deal
of support from the people around them"
How
Do I Know if a Friend has been Sexually Assaulted?
http://www.thecenter.ucla.edu/friendmid.html
" There
is no one way to identify if someone has been sexually assaulted unless
she or he or someone close to them tells you that this has occurred. However,
there are several signs/symptoms of rape trauma (a type of post-traumatic
stress) which may help you to identify if a friend needs help."
Futures Without Violence
hhttp://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/
End Abuse Campaigns:
Reaching Men
Coaching Boys into Men
Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends,
the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies… everything
they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means
to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control.
There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to
boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship.
So teach boys early, and teach them often, that there is no place for
violence in a relationship.
http://endabuse.org/programs/printable/display.php3?DocID=9902
Audio
for endabuse adds to train boys not to abuse women.
Healthy
dating
http://www.healthy-dating.com/
Program on rape
education on middle and high schools
Shame
and how to help
"But often,
simple human contact is the most important thing for a shamed person.
Even this can be difficult to offer because shame makes people withdraw.
"The most important
thing is to keep up contact with someone -- for example, the kid who drops
out of college and is now a strung-out marijuana addict," Tangney
says. "Marginalized people -- and nobody is more marginalized than
the mentally ill -- need to have a place in society. That is a very powerful
message that should be attended to by communities, whether they are religious
or family or neighborhood communities."
Approaching a
shamed person can be tricky, Josephs warns.
"If you
see shame preventing someone from getting health care, you can confront
it as irrational," he says. "You can say there is nothing to
be ashamed of, and if people hear it, they hear it. But when you point
out that they are ashamed, people can get touchy and angry. If you point
out their shame, you could get into a fight. So bring it up, but in a
tactful way, knowing this is a tough issue."
Tangney says
that the best approach is to avoid further shaming. The first thing to
offer is support and empathy. Rather than confront a person's shame, it's
better to point out -- very, very gently -- how a person's behavior is
harming areas of life that the person really values.
"There is
a lot of evidence suggesting this is a good approach," Tangney says.
"And to my ears it is all about shame reduction."
Related pages within
this site:
Distribute
Training Manuals to professionals
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Find out about rape trauma
syndrome
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Ways to reduce stigma and
shame
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Resources
to research this subject:
Journals
and articles
Search
the NCJRS Abstracts Database
Google
scholar or Findarticles
Finding
books at the library
Online
Libraries on sexual assault
Encyclopedias
and Dictionaries
Search
terms: rape crisis
Related
links: Victim
blame
References:
Macdonalds,
J. (2004). World Book Encyclopedia. United States of America:
World Book Inc.
rape. (2006). Encyclopædia
Britannica. Retrieved May 2, 2006, from Encyclopædia Britannica
Premium Service. http://www.britannica.com/eb/article?tocId=9376486
Smith, M. D.
(2004). Encyclopedia of Rape. USA: Greenwood Press.
Sedney, M., "rape
(crime)." Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia. Scholastic Library
Publishing, 2006 <http://gme.grolier.com> (February 1, 2006).
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