This just in from Kevin Callaghan at Acme:
“I know. I know. People in the South can’t handle the snow. But it’s not my fault. It is true that I’m fine with solely viewing bucolic winter landscapes on the TV. Or in a magazine. Really. And that aside from snowcream and that initial sled ride, there’s not much to icy precipitation that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. But the truth is that Acme will be closed tonight solely because we’re being practical. We know that all of you have bought cartons and cartons of milk and loads of bread and tomato soup. And we certainly don’t want that to go to waste. And what about all those Crock Pots simmering away. And those promises of pizza delivery. And, I bet, more than a few of you rented some movies… So, I don’t want you to think that I’m out building a snowman or participating in any other frivolous wintry outdoor activity. We’re just being practical – and waiting for all this chilly, white stuff to melt. By the way, $12.95 Tuesdays will be back next week.”